My 10 13 pound summer

 

I began my summer weight-loss journey today.  Unfortunately, the scale showed I had gained 3 lbs. since my last weigh.  I’m convinced it is water weight and will drop off quickly.  My parents are not so sure.  They think it has something to do with all the treats people feed me.  I also hadn’t been out for my morning walk yet and I was probably a couple of pounds heavier just because I’ve been holding it all night.  Geez, I never get a break with them.  How about brushing me?  That’s probably good for at least another pound or two.

My exercise log is the same as always.  I walked to the wharf and back home this morning.  It is 3.0 miles and complete in an hour.  I got about 30 seconds of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) when a swallowtail butterfly flew past me and I couldn’t resist chasing it and its shadow.  Since I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to catch, I ended up not catching either one.  It’s pretty hot out so I will get shorter walks the rest of the day, but yet be blamed when I don’t lose weight.  And who said it was fair to feed me less, because I’m doing less?  That’s a crock.  It’s not my fault it is 114 degrees outside.  Maybe my metabolism is higher because I’m constantly trying to stay cool.  I think I’m going to go hit the treadmill.

Cooper’s 10 lb. Summer

 

 

I have been told that I need to lose weight.  I heard recently from the veterinarian that my long-term health was in jeopardy due to my girth.  I feel fine and don’t think I should be fed any less. It is important for me to maintain body mass and appear large on the mean streets out there.  Being thin is a detriment.  You get no respect when you’re svelte. 

My Aunt Gigi said I looked like a meatloaf with orange hair on it.  She used to call me “Meatball,” but apparently now I serve four.

I think the word “loaf” is offensive.  It is both a noun describing my appearance and a verb that is one of my favorite activities.  Being called “meatloaf” thus hurts me twice.  It makes me sound fat and Lazy.

I know meatloaf is delicious, and when one is taking about what to make for dinner then that is fine, especially when there are  lots of egg and bread crumbs in it and it is smothered in that brown gravy that sometimes bubbles so hard that it splatters on the floor.  I actually had meatloaf once and it made me sick because I found it in the trash and it had lots of onions in it.  It was worth it.  I loved that meatloaf.  Even though it was half frozen and still partially wrapped in wax paper, I enjoyed it.

Anyway,  there is nothing wrong with meatloaf.  We can all agree that it is yummy.  I don’t like being called “meatloaf” however.   Using “meatloaf” to label your loving, faithful friend loafing on the kitchen floor, I mean, protecting your interests while remaining alert on the kitchen floor is mean.

I’m only 90 lbs.  I don’t think I need to go on a diet but since I have to eat what is given to me, I suppose I’ll have no choice.  I hear once I get down to 80 lbs. that I can eat whatever I want again.