My
Horrible Day: by Cooper Ely
My day started off like they usually do,
boring. Once my mom finally got up and
out of bed at 5:30 am, she took me down Essex Street towards the wharf like she
usually does. Sometimes we detour on
our way and I get to meet my friends Cyrus and Bailey by Leslie’s Retreat
off-leash dog park. I get to run
off-leash past the poor dogs that are trapped behind the fenced-in “off leash” park
like zoo animals. Those are pretty good
days. Today, however, was not one of
them. I had no play date and didn’t get
to go by the dog park. We just marched
down Essex Street like we were only interested in exercise and me using the
bathroom.
As we were walking past Rockafella’s and
their dog-friendly, but people-unfriendly patio, I noticed a human that looked
like a compassionate soul and smelled of pastries. Our eyes met and I wiggled and whined in
excitement as this gentleman put heavenly-fresh confections and treats on the
lift-gate of his delivery truck. I
tugged my mom nearer and this man and I made a connection. He knew I was interested in a treat and could
see that I was nearly starving. He waved
his hand towards all the goodies in his truck and asked my mom, “He can have a
treat. What would he like?” I couldn’t believe it. I noticed a lonely tray of ham and cheese
croissants in the rear of the truck and was ready to announce my decision.
“He’s OK.
Thanks anyway, but he doesn’t need anything.” My mom’s utterance of these words stung me to
the core of my being as I was pulled away and re-directed towards the
wharf. I looked back at the kind-hearted
man in the growing distance and I saw the hurt and pain in his eyes also. I know it is never a good idea to refuse
something that is offered to you out of generosity and I could see the
rejection wash over this total stranger like a Nor’easter drowns the rats at
the pier. Dejected, I ambled on. I completed “my” walk with the hurt still
inside me.
When we got back to the house, I had the same
meal that I always have, one and a half cups of TASTE OF THE WILD, an
all-natural food made from real animals.
It was then that I found out that I had a play-date with Bailey! A few minutes later, Bailey showed up in my
house and started playing with my toys and eating my bones. I found this disturbing and I was shocked by
his audacity and my parent’s tolerance of this.
As I tried to place my toys and bones back into their proper positions
throughout the house, we were whisked down the stairs and into a car waiting at
the curb. Bailey and I were crammed in
the back and not told where we were going.
About 30 minutes later we were in South Boston at Castle Island. Unbeknownst to me, I was entered into a Doggy
5K and was supposed to run with my dad, Bailey, Bailey’s mom, and mom. There were many tents and many dogs. I was quite overwhelmed by it all. I have done this race with my mom and dad
before and it was looking like a much bigger deal this time. Of course I was leashed and restrained and
unable to interact at will. Bailey and I
were imprisoned at the end of our respective leashes. We went to this one tent where there were
lots of friendly people, but they were stupid.
They had no idea what the dogs wanted.
Instead of giving me a treat or a well-deserved meal, they gave my
parents a number and a coffee mug.
WTF? What the hell am I going to do with
an insulated coffee mug?
Eventually we made our way around and I was
able to secure a few edible items, which I wasn’t given. My dad stuffed them all in his pocket. I found this irritating. My dad is very “careful with money, but not
cheap” and I know he was thinking that the free samples were going to be a
great substitute for my regular meals.
That is NOT how this
works! If you are given the gift of
nourishment, it’s a meal SUPPLEMENT
not a meal REPLACEMENT! When it is free, it is a gift. It should be consumed now! Once my dad takes it and doesn’t allow me to
enjoy it and then gives it to me instead of my regular meal, it is like getting
bread and water for Christmas. Not cool.
The race was about to start and I was excited
about that, but I had no illusions of winning it. If you are in a race, you try to win. That is why you’re there. I knew I wasn’t going to be in
contention. Having my dad on the other
end of my leash was going to be like dragging an old refrigerator through a
cattail swamp. Instead of running with
that killer instinct and competitive fire, he’d be making an effort to be
courteous and other B.S. He’d be “guiding
me” through the tangle of leashes, tails, and other idiots with their dogs like
he was driving a sleigh. I had a lot to
look forward to over the next 3.11 miles.
The race started and I made my move. In hindsight, it may have been a little early
to pull out all the stops and go for the win.
I passed dozens of dogs and their parents with my dad dangling behind me
for dear life. Pulling him was a lot
more taxing than I realized and I quickly became disheartened around the 1.4
mile mark and had to drop my pace from 6 minute miles to 8-8:30 minute miles. I decided to ease up a little bit and run
behind my dad so he could drag me for a change.
I got bored with that so I decided to stop for water at the 2 mile mark and
take a sample from each of the six bowls they had placed out at the little
station. They had no food available and
I thought that was stupid. It was clear
that I needed more carbs to finish the last 1.1 miles. It was around this point where I saw my
friend, Bailey. He went by with my mom
and his mom and he was frustrated to.
They were about 5 minutes behind us and just starting the little loop my
dad and I just finished. I told Bailey
to hang in there and my dad tried to give me to Mom because he said I bonked
and was slowing HIM down! What a crock! I was just mad we weren’t
winning. I figured if you’re not going
to win then you should just quit.
Begrudgingly, we set off on the final 1.1 miles and my dad somehow had a
burst of energy, which I don’t understand.
I wasn’t feeling it as it is hard to rise after a letdown. I had no choice, mostly due to the leash, and
I accompanied him to the finish line as we passed a few people that we should’ve
never had to catch in the first place.
Not once during the race did I try to go
pee. I focused on winning and knew a pit
stop would be devastating to our chances of winning. My focus was razor sharp and I put mind over
bladder. I guess I was just shocked when
selfishly, my dad drug me to the porta-potties immediately after
finishing. I felt like such a fool
standing outside the door while my dad still held my leash while he was
inside. When he finished I’m pretty sure
he pet me without washing his hands.
His
inconsideration is mind-blowing. On his
terms, he towed me to the finish line to wait for the rest of our group to
finish. We sat in the grass in the sun,
surrounded by dogs and people. I felt
like I was trapped in the center of a maze with all the treats and refreshments
on the walls outside. There were bananas,
energy bars, and dog treats just out of my reach. I could smell them and almost taste them, but
here we sat. Bailey, Mom, and Kim
finished and came to join us on the lawn.
Of course they all took turns going to get “people food” while someone
kept Bailey and I at a distance from the treat lines.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed something. I had just pulled my dad 3.11 miles around
Pleasure (yeah, right) Bay and Castle Island.
A baby in a stroller inched nearer and I turned on my charm. I wiggled, whined, winked, and smiled. Everyone was taken by my inherent
cuteness. I welcomed the opportunity to
take that baby’s food so I did. In a
lightning-quick move, I made a head-shoulder fake to the left and then snapped
back to the right to grab a Dixie Cup full of Garlic Parmesan Pop Chips. Pandemonium ensued. The baby burst into tears, crying
loudly. My dad and mom jumped in
immediately and snatched the cup from my mouth.
My thought was, I already ruined this kid’s day so I may as well get to
keep the chips. My clueless dad finally
figured out I was hungry and took the now re-gifted sample dog food out of his
pocket and let me eat it on the lawn. My
blood sugar regained normal levels and shortly thereafter, I was once again
becoming car sick in the back of a Toyota Highlander as we returned to Salem.
Back in Salem, things went from bad to
worse. After only being outside and
among my own kind for 7 hours, I was “deposited” at home while my parents spend
the afternoon doing whatever it is they do when I have to stay home. With the exception of two more 30 minute
walks, that was the last I’d see of the great outdoors on this Saturday. They tried to make it better by taking me to
Penelope’s Pet Boutique, where I got ONLY
ONE, delicious treat made with carob.
To make matters worse, the real reason we went to Penelope’s was so my
parents could buy tickets to go fraternize with other dogs and leave me at
home. They drug me to another store in
Salem, called Avalanche. The nice ladies
there were begging to give me cookies, but my dad only let me have one and once
again, stuck another one in his pocket.
On the way home it was sunny and beautiful while my dad and mom mostly
ignored me and talked about their plans to attend the Beer and Wine tasting to
benefit the German Sheperd Rescue (GSRNE) later that day. There are lots of American dogs that are
starving, myself included, and that need new homes with compassionate owners,
me also. Why are they helping the ones
in Germany? Back in the apartment where
I only have 5 choices of beds, I picked a spot in the dark and lay down to
reflect upon the day’s transgressions and anguish I have struggled with. I was beginning to come to terms with things
when I got some disturbing news via Facebook.
My mother was ‘spending time’ with another, and it was there for the world to see. She had this needy and puny German Sheperd
puppy in her arms (and probably a beer in the hand I couldn’t see) and the
caption said, “Merlin and his mommy enjoying
Hops and Grapes: A Beer and Wine
Tasting to Benefit the German Sheperd Rescue.”
What a fitting end to my horrible day.
