I Feel Like I'm Stuck in a Custody Battle

The other day I found a dead bird delectably wrapped in fermenting sea weed at Good Harbor Beach in Gloucester.  I did what any smart dog would do.  I stopped, dropped, and rolled.  It is the same steps you use when you are on fire, except you can be more leisurely about it since you aren’t on fire.  I was excited about this new smell and I wanted to make sure I showed all my friends and my parents what I had found and I wanted to remember it.   That’s when my mom said, “Come get your dog!”

Then my dad said, “Oh, now he’s my dog?”  I was confused.  I didn’t know that I was anybody’s dog.  I thought I was with both of them.

Later that day I heard my dad say, “I guess I’ll take ‘my dog’ for a walk.”  I figured at least my dad wanted me. 

Two days ago I was executing this off-the-hook trick I know.  My parents call it the “Down-Stay-Bang-Good Boy.”  When I was done my mom said, “Who’s my good boy?”  I wasn’t really sure at this point because it seemed like she wanted me to be my dad’s dog the other day.  I nailed the trick again for a few more fans of mine in downtown Salem and I heard one of them tell my mommy, “That is a cute dog you have.”  My mom said, “Yes, he is MY good boy.”  Does she want me or not want me?  When we got home from my brief walk my mom said to my dad (who didn’t want to go with me), “You should’ve seen your dog downtown.” 

That night I was trying to help my dad cook dinner.  I peeked at the counter to see what I could help with and my dad yelled, “Come get your dog!” to my mommy.

I’m not sure what is happening at this point.  My mom went to a state called, “Virginia” for a couple of days to work with people’s integrations on computers.  It was going to be my dad and me at the casa, but he sent me to daycare for some of the time.  My good friend, Sally, came to get me and my dad said, “He’s all yours.”

More on this later as the situation continues to develop…



Cooper is exonerated!

You may have heard that I witnessed an accident a couple of years ago in Salem.  I was with my mom and dad at a crosswalk.  We had just walked on the pier chasing gull shadows and past Bunghole Liquors, where they have dog water outside and big dog treats inside.  On this day, I do not recall whether or not I had been inside for treats.  I do remember seeing this dog, Mitch, who I think is really funny-looking.  Anyway, I was at this crosswalk and there were lots of humans in cars.  I was standing quietly between my parents and generally thinking about how bored I was going to be the rest of the day in the condo.  I had 5 hours and 59 minutes left until my 5PM walk, which is always much shorter and not near as fun.  I heard this weird scratchy sound, sort of like a huge squirrel clawing its way up a tree.  When I looked towards this sound I saw it was a car stopping quickly on the street and a lady who shouldn’t have been in front of it.  My mom and dad always make me sit with them before we cross the street and even though I never look both ways, I sleep good 22 ½ hours a day knowing that my parents do.  So now this lady was lying in the middle of the street.  My dad then ran into the street, too and my mommy stared to scream.  I freaked out a little bit about that!  I was telling my dad, “Hey! Hey! Hey!  You’re gonna get hit by a car like that lady and mom is scared!”    I slipped into a state of fear and shock at this point and the subsequent events are not 100% clear in my memory.  I remember people running around.  I remember a big, red truck that was really loud.  I recall a man in a uniform.  The UPS driver has a uniform and has cookies and I wondered if this guy had cookies.  I recollect that he didn’t pay any attention to me.  I remember my dad took off his sweatshirt that was covered in my fur and put in on top of the lady in the street.   Another car with lights and noise came and more people in uniforms and potentially bearing dog treats were in the street.  A gull shadow passed over me and somewhere in the distance, a dog barked.  I remember waking up in time for my afternoon walk that day. 

So that lady who got run over was kind of upset and wanted a lot of people to know about it and somehow my good reputation on the streets of Salem was being questioned.  It was being suggested that I was acting-up and barking.  My behavior was being called a distraction and a reason for the lady to abandon all logic and take a pococurante walk into traffic.  It was alleged also that maybe the person driving the car was paying attention to me and not watching for people crossing the street.  This I don’t dispute.  I’m a show stopper, but I wasn’t being a bad dog.  Anyway, my dad had to go to court for 3 days to testify on my behalf.  At the end of the third day, I was cleared of all wrong-doing and willfully being a distraction.   Unfortunately, the judge apparently told my dad that I still had to remain on a leash during my walks as that hasn’t changed and freedom is still fleeting and seems to be forever out of my grasp.