Salem Tour Stop #4

This is the famous and really scary Burying Point.  It is the oldest burial ground in Salem (1637).  It is home to an inordinate number of squirrels and transients.  Dogs, grave-rubbing, and gerrymandering are strictly prohibited on these hallowed grounds (but it is apparently OK to conduct a seance with a Oujia board, open flames, and Jim Beam).  One time I saw a "ghost" rat here that was the size of an opossum.  It even had silvery fur, a pink and scaly tail, sharp-pointed teeth, and a convincing "death act" when we approached.  It looked Soooo much like an opossum, but it wasn't.  Another time I ate a fist-sized piece of fried dough right off the sidewalk. 
I'm always drawn here by the smell of pine needles and urine.  World-renowned warlock, Charlie Sheen, has a burial plot here with excellent views of the Witch Dungeon Museum and the abandoned warehouse across the street.  Noteworthy people already laid to rest here include (but are not limited to) Capt. Richard More (Mayflower passenger), Rin Tin Tin, Whoopi Goldberg, and that chubby kid from Different Strokes.  There is also a memorial to Giles Corey here.  He is one of the people from the infamous Salem Witch Trails that was pressed to death when the Witch House landed on him during a tornado.
Let's move on to Tour Stop #5.  I'm pretty scared and you should be, too.  A cookie will help to strengthen my resolve.

Salem Tour Stop #3

Welcome back to the tour of Salem, Massachusetts as narrated by Cooper.


This is the memorial to Salem’s most famous witches (well, actually warlocks because they are boys). It is located at the intersections of Essex and North Streets. They are from left to right: Philbin Jefferson, Regis George, Roosevelt Lincoln, and Charles Barkley Thomas. They are most known for playing flutes and leading the Sith Lords out of Winter Island. Roosevelt lived to an old age, had many dogs that were never leashed and always had a cookie.

Thanks again for enjoying the tour and if you don't like it, there isn't much I can do about it.