10) Scavenge for discarded street food. Essex Street is a veritable treasure trove of kettle corn, soggy hot dog buns, and cotton candy fragments.
9) Pee on scary things.
8) Dress up like a super hero and pee on scary things.
7) Say “hi” and greet every single person on the mall, just to irritate my dad and mom.
6) Bark at falling leaves. Every one of them.
5) Chase all the squirrels so they can’t store enough acorns to keep them fed during the winter so that they have to venture out to eat and I can keep chasing them. Soon, one will be too hungry to run and then I’m not sure what I’m going to do.
4) As the days get shorter, insist on more and longer walks, citing a possible Vitamin D deficiency and winter depression.
3) Shed old hair on the furniture. (You can actually have fun doing this year-round).
2) Sniff absolutely everything. Twice.
1) Get your picture taken with all the freaks and zombies.
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