Salem Tour Stop #4

This is the famous and really scary Burying Point.  It is the oldest burial ground in Salem (1637).  It is home to an inordinate number of squirrels and transients.  Dogs, grave-rubbing, and gerrymandering are strictly prohibited on these hallowed grounds (but it is apparently OK to conduct a seance with a Oujia board, open flames, and Jim Beam).  One time I saw a "ghost" rat here that was the size of an opossum.  It even had silvery fur, a pink and scaly tail, sharp-pointed teeth, and a convincing "death act" when we approached.  It looked Soooo much like an opossum, but it wasn't.  Another time I ate a fist-sized piece of fried dough right off the sidewalk. 
I'm always drawn here by the smell of pine needles and urine.  World-renowned warlock, Charlie Sheen, has a burial plot here with excellent views of the Witch Dungeon Museum and the abandoned warehouse across the street.  Noteworthy people already laid to rest here include (but are not limited to) Capt. Richard More (Mayflower passenger), Rin Tin Tin, Whoopi Goldberg, and that chubby kid from Different Strokes.  There is also a memorial to Giles Corey here.  He is one of the people from the infamous Salem Witch Trails that was pressed to death when the Witch House landed on him during a tornado.
Let's move on to Tour Stop #5.  I'm pretty scared and you should be, too.  A cookie will help to strengthen my resolve.