Tuesday, April 24, Salem, MA

11:00AM  I knew something was going on when I got hauled into Petsmart .  I was all excited to pick out some toys and treats, but I didn’t even get to walk around the store.  I had to go to the barber.  They gave me a bath and made me get “furminated.”  I do not like the blow dryer and barked at it.

2:36PM  Mom and Dad keep petting on me because I’m “so soft and shiny.”  I’m pretty upset.  I have worked hard to maintain my odor.  Everyone knows me by my odor.  Now I smell like tick spray with a hint of lavender.  I don’t even smell like a dog.  I kept getting told things like, “you don’t want to meet people when you’re all stinky” and “now we can stand to ride in the car with you.”  I should’ve known then that something was amiss.

9:39PM  I can’t get comfortable.  My skin itches and tastes like soap.  My parents watch the Biggest Loser and ignore my suffering.

10:02PM  I go for my final walk of the day and I get a chicken meatball treat that dad got for me at Petsmart  while I was getting tortured by a blow dryer and the aroma of a million dog treats.

Wednesday, April 25, Salem, MA

5:25AM   My mom leaves for work, thoughtlessly waking me.

7:59AM   I go for the same 3-4 mile walk I’ve been on thousands of times with my parents.  The boat isn’t even at the wharf.  It hasn’t been for months.  Real exciting, dad.  Yawn.

11:14AM  My dad has been cleaning the house for awhile now.  Mom must have yelled at him.

2:00PM  I walk past my dad and try to hint that it would be a good time to go outside.

3:36PM  My dad walked by my leash, but didn’t touch it.

3:44PM  My dad says, “I’ll be back in a bit, buddy,” and leaves.

4:02PM  I still haven’t went for a walk since this morning.  My bladder feels large.

6:00PM   Mom is home!  Much to my chagrin, she neither walks nor feeds me.

6:11PM  Dad is home!  Why is there a different car in the driveway?

7:05PM  I’m fed and walked.  I should be going out again in an hour or so. 

8:00PM Some of my stuff gets put in this strange new vehicle outside.  

9:18PM  My parents are definitely going somewhere.  They are putting things in bags and putting the bags in the strange car.

10:00PM   The ‘rents watch Survivor.  I still smell like shampoo and wonder what the heck is going on.

11:59PM   My parents are still up and consequently, me as well.

D-DAY, Thursday, April 26

1:00AM  Go to bed already you fools!

Seriously?  It is 4:30AM.  I feel like I just fell asleep.  This sucks!

5:10AM  My parents drag me into the strange, cramped vehicle downstairs and I feel like it is an out-of-body experience.   I think I’m being abducted.

6:20AM  I feel like I’ve been in the car forever and we are only in Connecticut. 

9:00AM  My parents are all excited for me and keep saying, “You’re going to get to see New York City.”  I was pretty disappointed with the view. 

We then go all the way across New Jersey and drive the mysterious  car onto a boat.  Again, my view wasn’t very good.  

After the boat ride, we drive through Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, and into North Carolina.  I’m pretty cranky.  I wonder how many stupid pictures I can be posed for.