I’m taking a stand. My dad says I’m getting fat. He’s calling me “chunky monkey” and “Dogzilla.” Now he wants to ration my food and make me start running with him. Well, it’s already diet dog food and my legs are pretty short. It’s not my fault I don’t have a yard to run and dig in. So pump the brakes, Dad! You’re foolin’ with the wrong dog. You might not know it , but in some circles I’m referred to as “El Chupacabra,” a.k.a “Cooper-cabra.” So leave me at home when you go for a run and throw some gravy and pizza crusts in with my food if you know what’s good for you. Go ahead, make my day!
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ReplyDeleteFor the record, I have never referred to Cooper as "Dogzilla." This is how Cooper refers to himself when he is trying to intimidate myself or his other parental unit, Mom. I have also never called Cooper, "chunky monkey." This was a misunderstanding. While walking to Leslie's Retreat Off-Leash Dog Park, Cooper nearly snapped my wrist when he bolted suddenly to lick a spot on the sidewalk in front of Ben & Jerry's on Washington St. I exclaimed in pain, "Chunky F**ing Monkey!" (I do admit to calling him, "Coopa-potamus" and "Orange, fur-covered beach ball."- but I don't think he heard me.)
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, Cooper is not on diet dog food per se. He is given a mixture of weight-control Eukanuba and Large Breed Active Dog Eukanuba (if you consider an active dog one that stares at falling leaves for hours and licks himself).
As for the yard, we don't have one but Cooper is walked a minimum of 4 times a day, goes to the off-leash dog park any day it isn't too muddy, and gets to see his friends at daycare (which includes a huge yard) at least twice a week.
I will take Cooper running this year. That much is true. As for Cooper's other comments I offer the response of "erroneous."